Moira's Lensography

Good morning, Squidoo! Today, I decided to make a lensography to introduce myself to the World Wide Web. This lensography contains not only my lenses but my goals, my struggles, and my journey too. I hope you like it.

After 30 votes I'll publish the winning pattern.^^,

I have a lot of goals in my life, but if I attempt to put them in one sentence, it's this:

MY GOAL IS TO FULFILL MY DREAMS SO MY CHILDREN WILL KNOW HOW TO FULFILL THIERS.

Creatively, my goal is to reincarnate plastic bags into useful things so that they won't clog our waterways or choke our fishes. Someday I'd tell my children, "I did what I could to give you a world similar to what I grew up with. Give it to your children too."

For Squidoo, my goal is to document all of my patterns, so that someday, I may show them to my children. I'll tell them, "This is how I burned my candle".

Locally, I would like to start a souvenir shop that sells crocheted plarn items. This goal is the one that scares me the most. I am scared of facing people and selling my stuff. Whenever people come up to me and appreciate my stuff, my tongue gets twisted I don't know what to say. I don't know how to turn it to sales. I'll probably get over it somehow, because someday I want my to be able to say to my children, "I was afraid too, but I did it. So can you."

For my family, I would like to be a loving wife, caring mother, dependable sister and great-gift-from-God daughter. Right now, I'm quite far from that. At one point I really became the maverick in our family. But then again, someday I'd like to tell my children, "Life gives second chances. Don't waste it."

I could still remember how painful it was having your work being put down by the person you thought would love it the most.

My sister had an embroidery project and had some embroidery floss left. I was so impressed with what my mom had embroidered for my sister's project (yes, we cheated, we let our mom make our project and pretend it's ours), that I wanted to copy it. And so I got a pillow case and tried to copy the stitches that my mom did. I thought to myself, "Wow, this is almost like mom's work!" Later that day, I showed my work to my mother. But instead of appreciating my work, she bashed my work, gave me a painful pinch in the my side belly (yes, corporal punishment is a culture in the Philippines), lectured me how expensive embroidery floss is, made me cry the whole day and wounded me for life.

Now, don't think so bad of my mom. She was struggling too because times were rough for us. We had to ask rice from our grandmother and sometimes eat bananas for viand. She was just tight about money and I understand now. However, it's still painful even if I understand. We never talked about it and she probably will never read this here, so I guess she will never be able to say sorry or make amends. But I'm a big girl now, I can take care of my wounds. And I love my mom despite what she had done.

However, I think that's why I was not able to pursue my creative dreams earlier. I had to learn to trust myself since my family couldn't give it to me. There were times when I had to hide whatever it is I'm doing because I'm afraid of being bashed again. Sometimes I wish I were born a boy. Maybe my mom will encourage me to do anything had I been a boy like my brother. I guess I'm just another bad case of middle child syndrome.

My Crochet Journey

I have always wanted to create.

I tried drawing, I suck.

I tried crocheting, so expensive.

I tried embroidery, very uneconomical.

I tried fashion designing, I'm okay but not spectacular.

I tried dressmaking, too tedious.

I tried teaching, so stressful.

I tried crocheting again with plarn, okay. But I couldn't finish the bag, felt disappointed.

I tried writing, my savings in the word bank is not enough.

I tried crocheting again with plarn, but I kept it small. I managed to finish it! I'm motivated.

I heard about blogs. I blogged my patterns. No one hardly looked at them.

I remembered Crochet Pattern Central, asked if they could post my patterns and I GOT VIEWERS!

I discovered Squidoo and here I am.

I still crochet small plarn items.

I still post free crochet patterns.

I had a daughter and my husband forbid me to crochet for awhile.

I rediscovered drawing and developed a certain style. Check it here and .

My plarn called again.

My daughter's old enough and I'm very careful about my plarn.

I'm here again.

And YOU are reading my lensography. ",)

Moira Crochets Plarn by Moira Durano-Abesmo is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.